Heather and Liz

Episode 1, 40 before 40

I had never left the country before, but now I have.

I went to England and Wales with my husband. My excuse was an academic conference that I presented out. But I have wanted to visit England for a long time. A lot of my ancestors came from England. A lot of the books I read and the shows I watch are in England. England is cool.

About a day after arriving, I found myself incredibly stressed out. This was right after we tried to order from a restaurant and the guy asked what sauce I wanted three times. I kept giving different answers from the menu, and it kept not being right, and there was some misunderstanding I didn’t understand. Then we found out they only took cash and we didn’t have cash (which was never a problem anywhere else).

I felt exhausted just from watching myself and not knowing what to do all the time. Like everything was just off from what I was used to. Really similar, but not the same. I never saw single stop sign on my trip, ever. The traffic was different. Everything was a little different.

I was even speaking the same language, but there were lots of little things that were jarring and different and I was a clueless American tourist who didn’t want to be overly clueless. It was weirdly hard to exist in a place that was different, where I didn’t belong.

I don’t love travelling. I like traveling. Travelling is lots of good moments but also combined with just the hardness of not having a routine and never having a couch to sit on.

We did a lot of the tourist things, particularly in London. But we also we rented a car and drove quite a lot and went to the forest and went hiking because I don’t love cities. London is a great city, actually. I found it clean and quiet and there is lots to do. But when I travel, I mostly think of where I can go hiking, and I did get some really good hiking in there, including these waterfalls in the middle of Wales.

I feel like I have been to England now. But I still don’t love to travel.

Three things I really liked about going out of the country:

First, we impulsively went to the West End and saw two shows at the very last minute. It wasn’t in the plan, but it was better that I didn’t plan for it, as we saved a lot of money buying last-minute tickets and it felt more like an adventure.

Lesson: don’t stick to the plan.

Second, I really liked hiking and visiting old castles. A lot of people would have just explored London, but I went and saw what I wanted to see.

Lesson: Do what you want, not what other people tell you to do.

And finally, I loved being with my husband and sharing it with him.

Lesson: The people matter more than the places.

There are two things I wish I would have done differently:

First, I wish I would have spent more getting excited. I was worried about planning and logistics, but I wish I would have watched videos and read books and built up the excitement for the trip.

Lesson: Prepare your emotions, not just logistics.

Second, I could have put more focus on the cultural differences instead of just the tourist things. I wish I would have recorded all the words that were different, or the prices of things, or what I found most strange about my adventures.

Lesson: Record the little things.

Leaving the country and going out there is hard, and it stretches in a good way, but I also don’t think it changed my life in any meaningful way. It just exists as the thing that happened.

I did get to pet some cats.